


Quietly like the snow

by Ashino



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 13:06:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashino/pseuds/Ashino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas Eve. Arriving earlier than expected at their meeting place, Rin waits for Haru outside in the cold. As he looks at the freshly-fallen snow around him, he reflects on their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quietly like the snow

There were still shadows in the clouds, wispy reminders of snowstorm that had hit over night. They were so dark against the brightening sky, but they seemed to be fading, however so slowly. It was the kind of thing you wouldn’t notice if you just stood there and stared at them, but if you looked away, going on with your day, glancing back every now and then, you’d realize that the darkness had abated a bit, and the whispered rumors of a carefree blue sky seemed to be less of meaningless gossip and while remaining elusive, became more of something that had form… something you could actually see yourself grasping between your own two hands. 

He sighed. The sun was finally starting to shine, but the air was still cold and crisp. It was the kind of cold where you might feel refreshed venturing out into it for a few hours… but only in a decent amount of layers and you weren’t standing around waiting for someone because your I’ll-never-admit-it-ever-excitement this morning launched you so quickly out of bed and out the door, you didn’t grab the most-definitely-needed scarf you had properly set out the night before. … Which was quite out of character for him… He who valued things to be in order, or at the very least in the general vicinity of its proper place. But this sort of muddled nonsense always happened on days like today. He gritted his teeth and sighed again, but this time in annoyance at how easily his defenses could crumble despite his endless efforts to keep them intact. 

He looked down and scoffed at the freshly fallen snow at his feet, irritated at how well it reflected how he felt today. It looked even, polished, and unphased… a perfect surface… but when you took it in your hands and tried to make something out of it, it wouldn’t take shape. The more you tried to give it form, the more it slipped through your fingers until you were left with dejected little pieces of what could have been the start of a snowman or the perfect snowball or any other sort of thing. Instead it became just a blunt declaration of your failure. 

That’s how he felt. It didn’t matter what he did. On days like today, his defenses became nothing more than snow that shuttered and disintegrated at the slightest touch. 

His face began to burn. He tried to bury his face in the collar of his jacket, but there was no escaping the frigid air today. 

It’s not like he didn’t know about this weakness. They both had it… well, he was pretty sure they both did, at least. It had always been a difficult situation to read, and this… This had transpired only seven months ago, and while it was still difficult for either of them to get a good handle on things, he thought he had learned to listen, at least a little bit. To pick up on the small things here or there… He had been doing that for quite awhile… Since that one day last summer… 

He didn’t have everything figured out… And he wasn’t sure he ever would. He only knew that while everything frustrated the hell out of him sometimes, there wasn’t a day that passed by now that he didn’t smile. That he didn’t feel somehow empowered by this complete disarmament. Though just like the excitement from the morning that caused him to forget his scarf, he’d never admit it… 

Well, he’d like to say that he’d never admitted it, but then he knew that there would eventually be a word, or a touch, or a glance, and he’d melt into a puddle of feelings, spilling everything he always kept pent up around anyone else. Outside of the pool, there seemed to be only one place he was truly free. 

He looked down at the snow he kicked with a small pang of guilt, and his eyes wandered over the rest of the sparkling white snowdrifts that surrounded him. Even he’d have to admit there was something beautiful in the mysterious serenity that always accompanied freshly fallen snow.

“Rin.” He jumped at the sound of his name.  
“Haru.”  
“Were you waiting long?”  
“Not really,” he lied, but based on how much his face was stinging, it had to look frozen and bright red. At least the redness would save him from the usual flush Haru gave him.  
“You look cold.”  
“I’m fine,” he began, but was cut short as Haru’s lips were suddenly pressed against his own.  
“You’re cold,” Haru said simply, pulling away and looking at Rin intently. “Let’s go.” He grabbed Rin’s hand and started pulling him down the street.  
“Hey…” Rin began, attempting to protest, but his mind was a fluttery mess as the taste of Haru’s kiss still lingered on his lips. He could feel his face burning even more strongly than before, and this time, it had no relation to the cold. 

It took a few minutes for him to recover, his heart pounding, his stomach twisted in all sorts of knots… Every thought full of those deep blue eyes… The softness of those lips… He let Haru pull him along hand-in-hand, eyes fixed on that dark, messy hair… Stunned that Haru belonged to him and he to Haru… When he finally regained enough composure to tear his eyes away from the back of Haru’s head, Rin’s eyes fell once again to the wintery landscape that surrounded them. He smiled.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad to be loved like this after all… raw and pure… quietly like the snow.


End file.
